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[25 Sep 2003|09:28pm] |
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Well, well, well. I forgot about this thing. Not too much to say though, online anyway. I've decided that cyber space is not for me. It's good to have a real life with real people in it. Umm...yeah..I guess that's all.
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| Yes, I'm still alive...barely. |
[10 Jun 2003|03:22pm] |
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mood |
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 content |
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So, this past week has been messed up. Not as bad as it was a couple of weeks ago, substance-wise. But, it's official- I'm moving out as soon as I can, which would be next week. In the words of my wonderful mother "we just don't get along." I'll probably end up staying with Dave, until I can find a place with a working toilet and a lock on the door.
Speaking of Dave, he took me on a picnic at Glenn Falls, Sunday. It was too cute- we had wine, he played his guitar, we got high, saw the Virgin Mary. We also decided to build a house by the river- with our pet alligator in the back. Ah, yes, what a good time we had.
Saturday was the Prick show. Not too much to say about it. Hung out with Lindsay, Matt, Sarah, Carin, and Chiz. Got some good pix. After the show, we went to the toga party, where my boy greeted me, naked. Apparently he went as a streaker- wore nothing but shoes, a hat, sunglasses, and an open coat. mmmm...nakedness. I also got into a catfight with Carin there, but it stopped after I gnawed on her hand. Fun shit.
So, I have 2 days of school left. 2 days until I pimp it out at prom with Dave and Carin. mmmmbla!!
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| The sweetest thing... |
[26 May 2003|10:12pm] |
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mood |
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indescribable |
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I'm in a state of awe. Dave is the most amazing person. I don't even know how to put into words how deeply I feel for him. He's absolutely everything I've wanted in a guy. He's just so passionate about everything, especially his music, and there's nothing sexier than a musician. When he reads his poems to me, I just....fall in love with him over and over again.
With that being said, I spent the whole weekend at the apartment. So much fun, yet so much drama. Can't really remember any specifics...I was pretty intoxicated the whole time. But last night will forever be fresh in my mind. I'm not gonna go into detail, but you can just take a wild guess. Laying with him afterward was like heaven. We stayed in each others arms for a couple of hours- it's the best feeling. Wow, I hope no one really reads this thing....lol.
So, Dave and I have plans for tomorrow night. I can't wait- that's all I'm gonna be able to think about.
It's so weird how things work out. For example, Dave and I went to high school together- he was a senior when I was a freshman. We never talked or knew about each other's existence. Fast forward to the Denny's protest, and we both end up having the biggest crushes on each other. Then, he ends up moving in with my friends...and now we're together. Life has its ways.
So, Friday night there were a few physical fights at the house across from the apartment. Dave, Lauren, and I watched it from the attic window, then Dave thought it would be funny to fire off some roman candles. Man, did those things shoot out-didn't think they went that far!! Whoops! At least the cops didn't notice, somehow. And again, I got an invite for a three-some. I had to have a little chat with these couples that keep asking me. Why me? Why do I ALWAYS get asked about that?!? Apparently, I seem like a "fun" girl. Which brings me to this: I love Kailin and Mike. And I love Lindsay and Matt. I love my friends. Since my mom and I STILL aren't speaking, my friends have been so much more like family to me than usual.I love them so much.
Ok, I'm gonna stop typing. This weekend is all blurred together, not that it wasn't blurry enough to begin with. So, I'll leave you with this: you poor people, don't read this shit!!
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| I'm the most pathetic being. |
[23 May 2003|12:38am] |
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mood |
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 melancholy |
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So, Jim just got offline to talk to his girlfriend...it happens to be her birthday, so no problem there. But the problem is that she's gonna be at his house all weekend, which means I can't talk to him all weekend. Why can't I get over him? This is ridiculous! Why do I give a rats ass...really. Ok, I'm gonna stop cuz I've recently learned not to type shit when you're upset...it leads to mucho badness.
Anyway, last night was happy, so I'll talk about that. Kailin and I went to the art partners thing at school cuz we're like artsy and stuff...hehe..After that, we went to her house, hung out with her family, then we got Jeanette, and went to the apartment. The crowd of ghetto boys across the street were trying to talk to us, so we stopped over for a wee bit, but us gals got a little freaked out by the overwhelming amount of being hit on, so we went back to the apartment. I was so happy to see Dave there; he's my #1 crush. So, I sat on the couch next to him, and being the gentleman that he is, he offered me a hit because I'm "a fine young lady." Aw...he's so sweet too. But, he went into flip mode, when he had to rescue Kailin, who got handcuffed to the stove by her boyfriend. Of course, Dave got his knife- that damn thing- and cut her free, then got into a swordfight with Mike. So entertaining. We smoked a joint, they sang and played guitar, like the hippies that they are. Mah girlies and I left. When I got home, I started to flip out! I got really shaky and sweaty. I went online cuz I wanted to get Jim so I could talk to him to take my mind off of what was going on. I called him, and by that time, my heart was racing like hell and my breathing was mad fast. That shit had to be laced. No one gets like that from pot. I was so fucked up that I passed out as soon as I got off the phone. Fun shit, lemme tell ya.
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| Say it Slipknot!!! |
[19 May 2003|09:13pm] |
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mood |
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 weird |
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"Fuck it all, fuck this world, fuck everything that you stand for. Don't belong, don't exist, don't give a shit, don't you fucking judge me." Sorry, that just randomly popped into my head.
Anyway, I'm a very angry little girl right now, oh yes I be. Or maybe I'm just angry because I don't feel anything....for myself, or for anyone else. My own mother fucking hates me right now- what does that say. I overslept this morning, she knew, but she purposely woke me up late. Thanks mom, you're really cool. Go blow a goat. It was also cool when she came barging in my room last night when I was sleeping...talking REALLY loudly about god knows what.
I'm trying to get alot of hours in at work, getting some money saved up, so I picked up Phil's shift for Friday. This sucks- I didn't want to move out this early, but my mom and I just DO NOT get along anymore. I'm gonna either have to crash with Lindsay and Matt, or Kat.
Then there's my other problem. The cute little episode that I had with Jim last night was pretty cool, 'cause I'm like that, and I like to randomly flip out on people. Word of advice: don't talk when you're mad 'cause you'll just sound like a butt fuck. Or how about this: don't get mad over stupid bullshit!! Let it roll, this shit ain't happening in front of my face..it's on the goddamn computer. Fuck you computer! And fuck you livejournal 'cause you won't let me change colors!! Bitch.
So....Saturday, I must tell you, was super fucking weird. I swear to god, I thought I was in "Fear and Loathing." When Dave freaked out with that big fucking knife and started hacking at the t.v. I was sooo close to crying. I was scared shitless....and a tad bit stoned...with some alcohol on top of that. Then Josh forced himself on top of me, while he read out of the Bible. Now that was quite interesting. Funny as hell, especially when Lindsay hit him in the head with the walky-talky. I love my stupid ass friends, but not as much as I love my dead gay son. Just had to throw that in there. Yeah...I hung out with the "crackheads" across the street too...kinda weird with everyone there being ghetto, then throwing weird-ass lookin' me into the mix...definitely not my crowd. Oh well, we smoked some bowls together. Apparently I let them smoke the rest of my weed, or so Lauren says, which I can kick myself in the ass for doing!!! That, I don't remember. Hmf.
I think I'm done "talking"....but I'll leave you with some inspirational words from Mr. Beck Hansen:
IN A COLD ASS FASHION
Fly like the eagle
Fly like the eagle
Fly
Squeegee
Ah, you got it
When we get down to the shrink-wrap on my grave
You know the nitty-gritty never looked so safe
You get whiplash under the bridge
Like a cold-ass lover with the buckskin
Get the squeegee and it's easy to be me
Clean my boots and I'm still feelin' homeless
Your brother is deader than a phone machine
With a bucket of green piss
And I'm tryin' not to look at Satan making love to a dishrag
So load up the gimmick wagon, get out of town
Do me a favor -- don't stick around
'Cause my kneecaps are turnin' slightly brown
Let's be doin' it right
Comin' down in a cold ass fashion
And the people don't breathe
Comin' down in a cold ass fashion
Steppin' in the beefsteak
Comin' down in a cold ass fashion
And the mayonnaise comes
Comin' down in a cold ass fashion
Black Twinkie
Gettin' all caught up in a taste test
An' it all basically tastes like crap
I can shake my own hand, give myself a grin
I can pick my own nose and put it back in
I can squeeze the breeze, drink a bottle of lice
Smoke a pack of whiskey with Jesus Christ
I got options, I got cop shows, I get nauseous
And the sweat is Day-Glo
Went to sleep, woke up in a coffin
Took out my eyeballs an' put 'em in a condom
Your daddy's got laxatives on his brain
Gettin' savvy in the back of a train
Mojo weedwhacker cuttin' space
Hot dogs rottin' in the bottom of the suitcase
And your mouth, smells like hair gel
I love you but you don't know how to spell
Where can you duck when they shoot you full of pigeon holes?
And there ain't nothin' like the real artificial
O.G.: original glue sniffer
Comin' down in a cold ass fashion
And the people don't breathe
Comin' down in a cold ass fashion
Aren't you fightin for some bitch(???)
Comin' down in a cold ass fashion
Smeared with sauce
Comin' down in a cold ass fashion
Would you believe, but ya man(???)
Uh, wait...
Talkin' about a cold ass fashion
Cold ass fashion, cold ass fashion, squeegee
It's like forty pounds of avacado sauce
Smeared across your boss
You know what I'm sayin'?
You donno when it's comin'
You know, it's like forty-five horses
Runnin' through the graveyard
In yellow panties
That is cold
Fashion
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[17 May 2003|12:31pm] |
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I'm sooooo bored!!! I took the day off from work thinking I'd either be really fucked over from last night, or I'd be visiting someone. Of course now that someone is a little pissed at me, I think. Maybe it's because I see what's going on, but I'm not supposed to......something retarded like that.
So, last night was grad night. I went with Brian and Nick, and I actually let Nick drive us there- it's been the longest time since I let someone else drive a car that I'm in, but yes, I was still a pain in the ass backseat-driver. We had to make a little stop before we got to Darien Lake to have a little smokie smokie. You have never had a full roller coaster experience until you ride one stoned- so amazing!! Trust me, that's the ONLY way to ride a roller coaster! The disappointing part of the night was that we couldn't find anyone that we knew; a few random school mates once and a while, but no buddies....no Josh, Lindsay, or Matt :( I spent the whole time there looking for peeps, but luckily we did find Bill and Jessica, who hung out with us the rest of the night. Yeah, nothing too interesting. Brian talked about poop the whole night. We left around 2, but I had to drive home cuz our driver wasn't too coherent. That be all yo.
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| goddamnit, I hate people!! |
[12 May 2003|09:11pm] |
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Oh my word, why are girls sooo stupid??? And no, I'm actually not talking about my own stupidity, for once. I could go further into this, but I'm not feeling up to getting shit from everyone in the world. Yes, I've been feeling very bitter and worthless lately, can't you tell?!?
Sorry Rachel, but since I haven't updated this thing in a while, this entry, like the others, might be a novel!!! Lol...
So, my picture that's in the Villa Maria gallery won third place...kinda cool, especially considering I made the damn thing out of sheer boredom. Do I get a prize????
Prom plans have changed apparently, but why would anyone tell me? I'm only the one that has to drive everyone, but I guess my input doesn't mean shit. So, I've decided to take matters into my own hands. I'm either going to prom with Brian, not as dates, or I'm gonna see if Josh will go with me.
Hung out with Matt and Lindsay Friday night...just looking through porno mags, listening to shitty punk music.....we also ate some tacos!!!! Yay!!
Let's review Saturday night, shall we?? I almost shit myself when I found out that APOX was gonna be playing at the Cont. so, I threw some half-assed plans together with Jessica, and went. And what would a trip downtown be without getting lost?!? We arrived at the Cont., found Rachel and Sarah....and yeah....hung out. Newt's set was first- didn't really pay attention to it. Next, APOX played....oh man....great performance!! Their set was nuts, they had like 11 or so members, and a little dancing chickie onstage. I was sooo elated(great word) when they finally played "Autocannibal." They also did a song with the singer from High Blue Star, which was highly approved by me, so I bought the cd later. After the set, Rachel and I talked to Kami, who was actually nice to me....even said that she liked my shirt. (This shirt is amazing, can't tell you how many compliments I've gotten about it. I wanna be buried in it when I die.) So, I was a cheeseball and asked for Kami's autograph, since I never did at the Pigface show. I've noticed something super annoying about myself when I talk to "rock stars"- I always say stuff that they couldn't, or shouldn't, give a rats ass about. Oh well :) As long as I realize that I'm a lame being. After talking with Kami, some guy, Ross or Russ, started talking to Rachel and I. He thought we were in the band, which was pretty stupid considering he just watched the band play and not once were we onstage...lol... Jess and I split after that, and after the whole Sarah tripping out incident. You don't wanna mess with her when she's like that- she's strong as hell!!!
In conclusion, this weekend was quite eventful...so, why do I always feel empty and lonely??? I'm always with people and I'm always out......uh oh, someone's got issues. Hehehe....
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| STD's- Save This Denny's!!! |
[07 May 2003|11:02pm] |
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mood |
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cheerful |
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Just when you think your day's gonna be boring as all hell, the most eventful thing pops up. So, I'm sitting at home when I get a phone call from B. telling me to round up some people and bring them to Denny's cuz they just closed...for good. I made a few calls, but couldn't get a hold of anyone, so I drove there as fast as I could. I get there, and a bunch of my friends are standing outside of Denny's, which is right in front of one of the busiest streets you could imagine, yelling with picket signs. I'm so glad I grabbed my camera before I left, cuz this is gonna make one hell of a photo project!! Anyway, we all hung out on the sidewalk, making signs, yelling at cars telling them to honk, bla bla bla. The slogans that some people came up with were hysterical- Jesus died for Denny's, Help this poor girl(me) get some food, before she dies of malnutrition, Jesus ate Denny's...the only ones that really stick in my head are the Jesus ones, so nevermind. We got the most pointless things to get attention, such as the wooden Mickey Mouse, the golf flags, and the American flag. We also made some pretty bunk signs and shirts too. But it was so much fun- all 4 hours of it!! There were alot of us there too- at one point there had to have been about 30 of us, which isn't bad just for one group of friends. We got Channel 2 News to stop buy and film us, and the Buffalo News did an interview with us and took our pics. It was just too funny. Weirdest part, was when I spotted Dan and Tim driving by- mind you, they live about 45 mins. away from here. I called Dan on his cell phone and got them to visit us. But they made me realize that we did all of that for nothing. We didn't raise money or anything, we just bitched at cars....oh well. I love my Denny's family. Where the hell are we gonna go now????
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[05 May 2003|10:25pm] |
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So, nothing happened today. Woke up late, went to school, laughed my ass off with Brian, had a few PMS moments with the girls, drove Sarah home, went to work, came home, did some artsy fartsy collage shit, and here I am. I'm gonna try really hard to go out to Lackawanna this weekend- I need to get away from this town for awhile, but I know that going there's gonna make me home sick (for my old house), and I'm not gonna want to leave...oh well.
Last night was another night where I should have died, and don't know why I didn't. Every time I put myself in these situations I think to myself-"this is always how it ends in movies or commercials." So far, so good though. Anyway, Deanna called me up and asked me to accompany her on a little adventure. That guy Lauren, that we hung out with last weekend, wanted to smoke up with us. He picked us up from Deanna's. He and the driver, Courtney (also a guy...lol), were sooo fucked up on something to begin with. We drove all the way out to Lancaster, which was a good 20 minute ride, just to smoke up at some park that they like. So, we got there, Lauren told us a funny little story which I won't get into, but all I have to say is "I love you like a fat kid love cake." After smoking, we left the park, and smoked another bowl on the way back home. I never expected us to make it back alive, especially after almost hitting a car, head-on. Scared the shit out of me, but my dumb ass found it hilarious at the time. So, the point of my story is.....how and why am I still alive?!?! I drive stoned, and drive with other stoned drivers all the time. One of these days my luck's gonna run out.
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| "Your hell is my hell, so welcome home." |
[04 May 2003|12:01am] |
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Alrighty, so tonight was interesting....kinda. After work, I got Deanna, Rachel, and Lauren- we went to Carl's so Lauren could get the coloring on her tattoo done, and I could get pierced. The trip there seemed so endless and I almost hit a few cars, but the UB boys made the trip worth it- and the coffee creamers were finally thrown at cars(thanx Deanna!!). So, we got there, and while Lauren was getting inked, I got my nose pierced. I was supposed to get my lower navel done too, but I decided that I didn't want to spend alot of money. Deanna, Rachel, and I needed "supplies", so we went around town, not accomplishing a damn thing. We got back to Carl's, to get Lauren, about an hour and a half later. After going home to freshen up, we went to the coffee house to see Grant play guitar. We had a little smokie smokie before we went. There, we sat around, waiting for Josh, talked to him for a bit, but I got mad munchies, so we left and went to Denny's. Denny's was really weird- later, Josh and Carin showed up, and we actually ended up talking to Carin. It was cool though because I really miss her. Deanna and Rachel were bugging out, so I had to drive them home, but I went back to Denny's. Lauren, Carin, and Josh talked me into going to some party in Elma...wherever the fuck that is. We drove separately, so I was in one car, later joined by Cortney, following Carin. But after a few rest stops on the way, I decided that I didn't want to go, so I dumped Cortney with them and went home. If I went to that party, I know I'd be sooo fucked for work tomorrow. So, weirdest part of the night- conversing with Carin and actually making eye-contact with her....her and Lauren will probably end up being best friends again, leaving me out in the rain as usual. Oh well... oh yeah, I already fucked things up with that Jeremy kid from the windshield place. I was too fucked up to be normal, so the situation was super awkward. Whatever. So yeah....that be the end!!! And yes, I'm still buzzed.
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| "Playas only love you when they're playin'!" |
[02 May 2003|11:47pm] |
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bouncy |
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Tonight was soooo amazing!!! If only every night could be like this one....
So, I'm gonna start with when I left work, after getting my paycheck. I was feeling really weird and hyper, even though I was dead tired and just got up from a nap. I'm driving through the parking lot, when I see a couple walking, who looked like they would be cool, so I pull up next to them and ask them if they need a ride anywhere. They just looked at each other, then me, like what the fuck???- needless to say they rejected my offer. Why I did that, I don't know.
Next stop: gas station. I always wanted to talk to the kid that works there, and that's just what I did. When I went in to pay for the gas, Daft Punk was playing on the radio, so I started to dance(??) Then we just started talking bla bla stuff. But this bla bla lasted for a good 10-15 mins. After he inspired me with the idea of throwing coffee creamers ar cars, I left, feeling a little proud of myself...and wondering what my deal was- he probably thought I was on crack!!
I went back home, but was way too hyped up to stay there, so even though I had nowhere to go, I got myself looking half human and went out. First stop: Sarah's, which turned into shit cuz her and her posse didn't pay their rent, so they were locked out of their room = no go. I decided to see if she was at work, so I went to the mall, and sure enough, as soon as I walk to the doors, she walks by, so we had a little chat. The party that she was supposed to have would have to be a fundraiser....boring shit not worth mentioning. After that, I'm strolling through the mall, when the guy from the windshield stand, as usual, pesters me. This time, I told him some shit about my windshield, which struck up another decent conversation, ending with him giving me his #....score!!! Then I went to go pester the other Sarah at Spencers. She told me to meet her later so we could toke up. I had to walk past hot windshield stand guy again, and when I did, we talked a little more. Talked to Sarah on the way out again, bla bla bla...told her that I'd also meet up with her later.
Next Destination: pick up Lauren from work. Drove to her house, so she could get changed, went back to the mall to meet up with Sarah, couldn't find Sarah, smoked up in the parking lot, tried to find this party ( we had NO clue where it was at all), went to Sarah's (wasn't there), then, just for you Jim, we went to Denny's!!! lol....I was so stoned and happy at that place. I greeted the smoking section members with a smile and some giggles of idiocy. I started talking to this guy, Cid, who asked me to marry him tomorrow in Vegas. Couldn't turn him down, so I got engaged. Matt and Lindsay showed up and sat with Lauren and I, who were confined in the corner, staying out of the way of the evil ones that sat on the other side. As Cid left, I asked him if the marriage was still on, but he sounded unsure, so I got pissed and called it off. Then a couple of minutes later, he hands me his # and tells me to call him about it tomorrow. Double score. I told Matt that I was a player, but he didn't believe me. Wow, I'm really stoned. Anyway, this I was all excited until I found out that Cid fucked Cortney, and apparently he has a small cock too. Oh well, guess I just won't touch his weiner. So, this guy comes in and sits by himself. Of course I feel bad, so I tell him to sit with us, and he did. Introduced himself as James, and only started to talk when the subject of movies came about. Quiet, odd man. As I was leaving, I hugged Matt goodbye, then Lindsay started to joke around about us having sex, then I don't know what the hell happened, but I touched my butt, and the whole one side of the smoking section started laughing hysterically at me. I got scared, so I left. I need to ask someone what that was all about cuz I'm suuuuper confused!!!!! Went home, and here I am, feeling all groggy now. Blah!!
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[28 Apr 2003|10:48pm] |
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mood |
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 high |
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Not a damn thing happened today, but yesterday was quite fun, after work that is. I rounded up Deanna and Rachel. We fed the hamsters at the playground, then went to Mighty Taco. I think I have a sickness- it was my fourth day in a row eating at that place. So, we talked to Lauren there too, bla bla bla, then we went to Wegmans to get more food(i think??). Then we...met up with this Lauren guy, who ended up being at Sarah's house- what a fuckin' small world!!!! Deanna met this guy at Josh's party a few days ago. I guess he's a tattoo artist, and he's gonna finish Deanna's star. At the house, we all just talked in the kitchen for a while, about this movie that Lauren's making, and he wants us to be in it, which would be hella cool!!! (I didn't just say hella) That guy is such a trip!! Holy shit, he's just so interesting to listen to. I guess he's from California (lucky bastard!) and he's got a kid. Then, we got bored, so we went for a little ride with this kid Josh, that we had also just met. The ride was really fun actually, smoking a bowl probably helped :) Josh's car has an amazing system, so the music was just perfect- Cannibal Corpse- loud as hell, double drum, double bass, fast as hell, good shit to listen to. After the little ride around town, we went back, said our goodbyes, then I drove Deanna and Rachel home. I forgot that I told some Marty kid that he could buy a bowlpack off of me, so I had to go back to Sarah's. I had to interrupt their game of "Asshole"....oh well, I got myself some money!! Woo woo! So, I went home- thank god my mom was asleep cuz I fucking hate talking to her when I'm stoned!!!!
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| Owies, my head hurts!! |
[26 Apr 2003|11:44pm] |
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mood |
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high |
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Yes, I'm dumb as fuck right now, but I'm also smart enough to figure things out. But if that were true, then I would know what to do- sheeeit, that rhymed! So, I think I know what I'm talking about, but I keep losing my train of thought. Why am I typing?? I must seem like the biggest and stinkiest asshole. That's gross.
Well, since I can't remember what I started to talk about, I'll try to remember my night. Of course, I picked up Lauren and Rachel. We drove around to a million different places trying to find a specific kind of hamster food and we played in KB Toys. We ended up at "the apartment", greeted by Kailin, Mosher, and Meremy. Yes, Josh ended up drinking the rest of my coronas, but I bitched about it enough that he gave me more. Then Kailin, Mosher, and I went to some kids house to buy some of our own hamster food. This hamster food was smoked with a hookah and it was a pretty smoking. We went back to Josh's....Chiz, Lindsay, and Matt showed up (my family). I love them so much, and I hope that they all know that they mean so much to me. Emo stoner moment- sorry. I think that's where I'll end this story. I went home and here I am. Happy clam.
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[26 Apr 2003|12:21am] |
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mood |
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Tonight, Lauren and I decided to be brave and try to do something different for a change. What was this brave move that we made, you may ask......we went to a different Denny's!!! I know, I know, it's too much to handle, but it is no lie. Actually, we went to two different Denny's, but the first one scared me cuz it was full of homies. I don't think they would have appreciated Lauren's black attire and my sloppy ass. The second Denny's was weird too, but there was absofuckinglutely nothing else to do, so we stayed for awhile. This Denny's was full of old people, and it was very proper- no separate smoking section, tables with chairs(???), and the tables didn't even have numbers on them. We didn't like the place, so we only gave the waitress an 11 cent tip....lol. The time that we spent there was cool cuz we talked about some serious stuff, but we were a little freaked out by the surroundings. No more of that place- we gotta stick to our Denny's- we gotta reprazent!!
Before that little incident occurred, Lauren and I visited the porn store again. We were in there for quite a long time- taking in everything we saw- the butt plugs, the molds of fists, the imported porn.....it was quite the bonding experience.
Yes, that was our night. Didn't do much, but it was better than doing nothing at all.
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| A little tipsy......*burp* |
[24 Apr 2003|11:50pm] |
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mood |
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giddy |
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Why do I only seem to use this damn journal thing when I'm under the influence??? Motivation....that's what I get from doing stuff...what?? Anyway, tonight was pretty fun- no driving around aimlessly!! After spending a good 12 hours driving around yesterday, I don't wanna be in my car too much. So, I picked up Kat, then we went to get Lauren at work, which was might interesting. (get it, mighty?!?!)shoot me!! Anyway, Lauren and some chick that she works with got into some big verbal showdown- so entertaining- I wanted to kick that chick's ass though, or push her buttons (that was for you Kat).
After that little brawl, we went to "the apartment." Good times.....drank a little...watched some porn......got stuck in the bathroom....good times. We were only there for a couple of hours, but it was time well spent. It was me, Lauren, Kat, Josh, Dan, some kid that's mexican but looks irish, and eric. Porn has never been funnier than when watching it with a group of smart-asses (hobgoblin bitch..hehe). Maybe the alcohol helped too...and wearing Lauren's glasses, which probably make me more fucked up than any drug or alcohol. Blah....I drove Kat home- almost hit some trees on the way back home. Hope Josh and Lauren are having a good time(ride 'em cowboy!!). Who knows???
Hey, I'm really bored, so let's talk about the past couple of days- weee!!!!
Had my "special guest" over again.....and yet again I can't apologize enough for the time that I have wasted and he will never get back. To make things even better, he locked his keys in his car- only cool people do that. We decided to worry about that later though. We joined Lauren and Josh, and drove around trying to find Pandora's Box, which we later found out had closed. Then, as usual, we went to Denny's. Angela told us some more of her great stories, my sleeve detached part of itself, Betty turned into a cave-woman then got her head cut off, Chiz, Lindsay, and Matt joined us, JJ turned into a lettuce rabbi, saw half of Brian's fan club, found out that the other Lauren had her baby......what an adventure. God bless Denny's. Went to Tops to get alcohol....went back to Denny's, had a little chat/lecture with my friends, dropped off JJ at Eskimo Lodge.
Next morning- drove around with JJ, smoked up, drove around....went to the mall and all that fun crap. Uumm...don't really remember what happened, but I do remember Mighty Taco!! For some reason, gee, I wonder what, I was really giddy and couldn't stop laughing- twas fun yo!! We came to the conclusion that Peeps are made of marshmallow and glitter, and only an ass like me would remember that, but I thought it was funny. Then we went to Lauren's, found out that she was mad at me, but some TLC fixed that. Rachel showed up back in town, so she was with Lauren. Deanna, Anna, and Page showed up, then we followed them to the galleria, but not before they made a little drug deal. (blah, I'll finish this later)
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[16 Apr 2003|03:33am] |
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mood |
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Went out with my girlies (Lauren, Rachel, and Deanna) tonight. Fed the hamsters, which is getting kinda boring- I don't really feel anything mentally anymore, and it makes me physically sick. Ran into Lindsay and Matt at the gas station...chilled out there for a while. Matt made fun of the peep mascot on my antenna. Dropped Deanna off at the movies with some guys, went to Mighty Taco and Taco Bell- can't ever get enough tacos!! Found Brian at work and apologized to him for never picking him up on my b-day. Hung out in his basement, showed us his pee pee piercing, which looks pretty cool. Dropped everyone else off at their houses, went home, talked to a certain someone on the phone. Still confused about what I should do about my situation. I should stick up for myself more, but I guess I'm used to tolerating being shit (shat?) on. Gotta love the boy. The end :)
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| Fuck you!! |
[14 Apr 2003|10:54pm] |
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mood |
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I like how people underestimate my intelligence and ability to find out information. I'm being told one side of a story, which after hearing the other side, sounds like complete bullshit. This situation rips me apart and makes me feel sick, yet I can't, and don't want, to get out of it. I wish I was smart enough to get out, but my brain isn't powerful enough to overcome my fucked up emotions and the logics behind them. Fuck me and fuck you for getting me into this!!!
Anyway, I'm gonna try not to be pissed off, and tell you about my birthday adventure...or what little I remember about it. Let's see..the evening started out with Lauren and I doing last minute shopping- you know, the neccessities: camera, pipe(happy birthday!), all that good stuff. We went back to my house and hung out with my 7 year-old cousin who kept telling us how cool we are, which made me feel bad cause I'm a foul-mouthed pothead. Anyway, after Lauren got me lookin' halfway human, my special visitor, JJ, called me from the parking lot of Eskimo Lodge("Jay and Silent Bob"). Lauren and I went to rescue the poor lad, who greeted us with the middle finger....very cute. But yes, JJ is very cute....mmmhhhmmm......After e took him to my house to go potty, I drove like hell to find "the cage" so we could "feed the hamsters".(I'm probably the only one that remembers our code words <-- nerd) We visited Liz, who thought I was drunk, at work. She gave me a birthday hug and told me to be careful, which I didn't want to hear cause Lauren and I have gotten sooo many warnings and subliminal messages about tonight. Got JJ some food..blah blah blah...went back to the parking lot to wait for the rest of the crew to arrive. Dan showed up with Tim and some super cute goth girlie, Amanda, who I could not stop staring at. Not too much later, Brian showed up with Rachel, then we were off to get Nick. It was a nice, long, and useless ride cause his mom wouldn't let him leave the house. Oh well, I got myself another birthday hug. As we left Nick's Lauren yelled at me, making Brian drive cause it was time for me to smoke myself retarded- and that I did. I told myself that I didn't want to know what was going on for my birthday, but I wanted to be bouncy and shit, but I was like a fucking zombie. I felt soooo bad for JJ cause I was quite the shitty hostess. Anyway, I think our next stop was the porn shop (happy birthday!). Only JJ, Brian, and I could go in. All I remember is a wall full of dildos and not being able to find any Jenna Jameson flix :( Amanda showed up in the store, asking us to hurry up cause apparently we were in there for about an hour...whoops!! Her and I chatted, while the boys were busy scopin' out the dildos and fist molds. We left... and I think we went to Brian Kent's house for the little concert that was supposed to go on. I ran into his house, but the party ended at 5...wtf?? What party ends at 5 on a Saturday night??? We all left and......oh yeah, we went to KFC/Taco Bell. Lauren had to drive now, cause Brian smoked alot and got dumb really fast- talking about how he knows where all of his friends live.<- Now that was entertaining. At KFC, I just kinda sat there- I don't remember being there. After that,we ended up getting a motel room, which again, I don't really recall. I just remember smoking up in the bathroom with Lauren and JJ, then talking to Amanda, and just sitting there. Dan and Tim were talking and laughing the whole time- the only thing I remember hearing was the comment made by Tim, about the diseases on the toilet seat. That made it into my quote book.(Yeah you heard me, quotebook!!) People kept leaving the room then coming back- I don't know what that was all about. Lauren, Rachel, and I ended up smoking up in the bathroom again, but this time I ended up hugging the toilet, then falling asleep on it. Lauren brought me to the bed, then Matt and Lindsay showed up- and like tradition, they pointed and laughed at my dumb ass. When they left, I noticed that Dan's crew was gone :( Around 2:30am, we left for the Eskimo Lodge parking lot, where Brian and JJ's cars were. Brian drove Lauren and Rachel home. I walked JJ to his car, then he suggested that we go back into my car. We talked for awhile, and I repeatedly apologized for the shitty night. He claims that he did't have a bad time, but I thought the night sucked, and I felt really bad for making him go with us. I also had to apologize for getting so fucked up- usually I'm really talkative on narcotics, but tonight I kept to myself. Silence fell upon us. We ended up staring at each other for a while, then the molesting began!! Three hours later, we finally said goodbye. I never wanted that moment to end. It was the perfect ending to my night, or should I say morning, since it was 5:30am. So, I got my b-day wish, as usual...hehe..
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| I don't understand people... |
[10 Apr 2003|10:47pm] |
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mood |
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People=Shit. Yes, this is true. They've been a big contributing factor in this weeks mess of shit. Biggest problem: Still have noooo clue what's going on Saturday, but whatever does happen I don't think is going to be as promising as hoped. This birthday is probably gonna take the prize for shittiest birthday. I'm still not talking to my mom, who's started kissing my ass, perhaps realizing that she truly is a psycho. This situation may cause some friction...very emotional or even legal ugliness, which might not help out the day. Some people involved in my b-day madness were not invited, making me a very angry little girl- although, I'm probably gonna be too fucked up to know what the hell is going on. There's sooo much shit running through my head, and I know that none of this babbling makes sense, but I need to get some of it out!!! All I know is that I don't know, and people piss me off!!!
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[06 Apr 2003|10:46pm] |
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mood |
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annoyed |
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Well, last night was quite the trip....emphasis on the word trip. Lauren, Rachel, and myself "fed the hamsters". We were on this street, which sported a doll hanging from a tree, and a dead bird in the road; cause of death: uncertain. I don't know how long we were there, but as soon as we drove off to go to the mall, I knew I was fucked. The whole way there, I thought that we would certainly get into an accident. My feet were really heavy, my hearing was all whacked out, and my vision was.....let's just say that for a moment, I thought that the car was a whale swimming in the ocean. It was the longest drive too...it never seemed to end!!! Yes, these details are boring, but they're the reason why I didn't sleep at all last night. I dreamed, the whole night, that I was driving while intoxicated. It felt soooo real and it freaked the shit out of me. I must have woken up about 8 times, but I still thought that I was driving, and I was scared shitless. So, today's lesson is: don't drive while fucked up!!!!!!
Anyway, I totally drifted off subject there. So, we got to the mall, went to the bathroom, which really excited me for some reason, then checked out times for the movie. Picking out the movie was so much harder then it had to be, and I'm so sure that the woman working there knew what was up. I couldn't stop laughing, especially when Rachel started talking about the poster that was behind us. While we waited for the theater to start seating, we walked around the mall for a bit, got some cheap candy, then went back to the theater to see the most depressing movie- The Pianist. Lauren, you are now OFFICIALLY banned from picking out which movies we watch!!!! I was balling my eyes out in the first 10 minutes. So, 2&1/2 hours roll by and the movie finally ended. Then it dawned on us that the mall was closed and we parked on the other side of it......so we ran, outside, to the other side of the fucking mall!! And yes, it was still cold from the ice storm!!! We went back to Rachel's and hung out for a bit, getting inspired by BME. I don't really remember what else we did, all I know is that I dropped off Lauren at her house, then went home. Just a little notice: don't be surprised if any of that made sense- I'm totally burnt out from no sleep and working all day.
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autocannibal's journal
